One of the best leadership and relationship building principles I ever learned was taught to me by a good friend who said to me one day "DJ, tell me, what are the three questions you must answer in the mind of every prospect before you can close a sale?" “Or in the mind of every team member before you launch and lead a project?” “Or in the mind of every business partner when you start up a new business?”
Of course, I was baited and listened closely. He went on to say: "There are three things that each person asks him or herself regarding you, before deciding if he or she will let you in.” “If answered in the affirmative that will result in closing the deal, building the relationship, starting that business."
Here are the questions he listed:
1
Does he know what he is talking about?
"Simply said, do you know your product or service well enough to convince him or her to believe that the product or service will do what you are representing it will do?"
2
Can I trust him?
"Is he telling me the truth and can I depend on him to support the product or service post sale?” "Will he do what he says he's going to do?"
3
Does he care about me?
"Does he care about me and what I need?" "Does he care about me enough to get to know me and a little bit about me personally?"
In that moment I learned that success isn’t just about skills or strategies—it’s about how people experience you.
I realized that no matter how polished my pitch was, if people didn’t believe I knew my stuff, if they couldn’t trust me to follow through, or if they didn’t feel I genuinely cared—they wouldn’t say yes. To anything.
That moment impacted me. From then on I began to lead differently. I worked harder to understand my craft, not just so I could explain it, but so others could see I stood behind it. I doubled down on making integrity my foundation—if I said I’d do something, I did it. And most importantly, I really slowed down and began investing more deeply in building relationships with every prospect, every colleague and every business partner.
Those three questions—knowledge, trust, and care—became a filter for how I show up in every room. They didn’t just help me grow a business—they helped me grow as a leader, as a person.
Lessons That Ground Me
There’s a lot more that could be said—and I’m sure others have their own hard-won lessons. I’d love to hear them. But these are the three things that continue to ground me when everything else is in motion.
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